


I Will Find You

by Impracticaldemon



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-16 08:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11825271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impracticaldemon/pseuds/Impracticaldemon
Summary: Written as a contribution to Kazachi Week 2017, hosted by Hakuoukishippingweek on Tumblr.Drawing on elements from both Hakuouki the game and Hakuouki Movie 2:  Chizuru remains determined to find Hijikata, the last of the Shinsengumi leaders alive (to the best of her knowledge).  However, while her loyalty hadn't changed, her heart has.This story was written based on a thought I had while rewatching the end to Movie 2 (where Chizuru leaves Kazama standing alone on the beach):  what if she had promised to come back?





	1. Part I - On the Beach

 

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**Author's Note:**

I've have wanted to write this particular Kazama and Chizuru story for some time, even though I write very little KazaChi in general. For that reason (as well as my usual inability to keep things simple), this story is longer than I had originally planned for **KazaChi Week 2017** (as far as I know, the first KazaChi Week!). Part I is the introduction, and best viewed as my melding of Kazama's Route (from Hakuouki: Stories of the Shinsengumi) with the second Hakuouki movie. I have clipped and posted the key scene from the movie on my tumblr blog (impracticaldemon) for those who would like to see it.

I hope that you enjoy this story!

~ImpracticalOni

* * *

**Part I - On the Beach  
** Prompt: Reunion

* * *

The trip to Ezo on the ship had been surprisingly free of acrimony, Chizuru thought. The edges had already begun to soften during the frustrating wait for transportation in Sendai, but living under the same roof had generated its own prickles of anxiety and irritation. It had seemed as though every time she had let her guard down a little, Kazama-san had been all too quick to comment that she was behaving more like his bride-to-be. Aboard ship, Kazama-san had been unusually silent, and Chizuru had seen an occasional thoughtful frown that she couldn't place, except to know that it wasn't directed at her.

Naturally, he had reminded her that whatever they found, it wouldn't be good news for the Shinsengumi. The odds were stacked so far against the former Bakufu army that it was no longer remotely possible for them to win; the best they could hope for was something short of a complete slaughter, and that was unlikely. Hijikata-san was now effectively leading that doomed army, although technically under the command of Otori Keisuke-san.

Chizuru felt a knot form in her stomach as she climbed into the small boat that would carry them - along with a contingent of soldiers - to the beaches of Ezo. She was resolved to see her journey through, to be there for Hijikata-san and whatever remained of the Shinsengumi. It was something that she had to do. And yet, she had known for some time now that while she still loved Hijikata-san, the nature of the love had changed, at first so subtly that she hadn't noticed, and then too obviously to ignore.

Naturally, she had felt guilty about the way that her heart had not been as constant as she had imagined. She hadn't expected that her profound devotion - which had easily outlasted her first, starry-eyed admiration - would change from that of a lover to something else, just as deep but more like kinship or comradeship. Guilt was not a useful emotion, however. (That had reminded her of Saitō-san, at first bringing a smile and then hot tears: the grief that she felt for all of the fallen captains, and for Kondou-san, was still very raw. She worked hard to ignore it except when she knew that she could weep in private.)

"We're here." Kazama's soft rumble interrupted Chizuru's jumbled thoughts.

She watched him alight gracefully from the dingy, weather-beaten felt the same tiny catch at her heart that she had once felt when admiring a different man's strong, easy movements. Kazama-san extended his hand to help her down to the wet sand, his ruby-coloured eyes and all of his attention fixed on her, effortlessly ignoring the running, shouting men all around them. And that was it, right there: she had his undivided attention at moments like this, something that she had never had with the overworked and dedicated Vice Commander.

Hijikata-san had given his heart and soul to his dream. It gave him his fire, his brilliance, his phenomenal charisma. Chizuru had thought that she would be perfectly content to come second to that dream, until such time as it was fulfilled, or over forever; she had truly never found fault with her role, as long as she could stay near Hijikata-san. Kazama-san, with his manifest arrogance and total disregard for the needs and desires of others - especially, but not only humans! - had frightened her and also made her angry.

But somehow, Hijikata-san had left Chizuru behind, and whether it was by mischance or for her own good, it had been against her wishes. Kazama-san had been the one to rescue her from danger, and the one to bring her many, many miles here to Ezo - and that after having given up his plan to make Chizuru his wife against her will. He was still infuriating and condescending at times, but he seemed to see her as a person now, rather than as no more than a female demon of the appropriate lineage. And as careless of her well-being as he might seem, his actions spoke loudly to the contrary.

They faced each other silently on the beach after Chizuru was safely off the boat, Kazama-san's face as difficult to read as always. Within a minute or two, the soldiers who had been with them had gone - off to some rendez-vous point, presumably. Chizuru had the impression - but it could be imagination - that Kazama was far more unsure of himself than usual. When he spoke, though, it was only to say what she had expected to hear:

"Hijikata may already be dead. Even if he is not, he is a fury. If he does not die in the coming conflict - which seems unlikely, but" - Kazama's lips twitched into an unusual, dry smile - "is less improbable than for any other human I've known - then I will have to kill him. I will not allow any furies to survive this war. They are an abomination that cannot be allowed to continue to exist."

"I understand, Kazama-san. Nevertheless, I must go. Thank you for bringing me here.  _Arigatou gozaimashita_."

Chizuru bowed deeply, ignoring the ache in her heart that protested against leaving this man. When she lifted her head, still firmly set on her chosen path, she thought she saw something like pain cross Kazama-san's unusually pensive face. Once again, she sensed uncertainty, instead of the usual teasing mockery. Then the strange, deep red eyes flicked away from her to look further inland, toward the sounds of battle, and she was left to wonder if she had mistaken the expression.

Kazama-san had once been an enemy, but he had cared for her scrupulously for months now, and taken her to visit her family's home, and stayed with her - comforted her, in fact - in the face of her foster father's betrayal. It had been impossible not to feel drawn to the one person who had been there for her during some of her darkest days, and who knew who she was without any need to explain Koudou-san, or the Shisengumi, or the Oni. Of course, she wouldn't have felt this way if he hadn't given her that glimpse of unexpected empathy and eventually even a grudging, unspoken, but increasing respect.

Chizuru hesitated, then turned abruptly to leave. The canon-fire in the distance made the matter urgent - she was determined to find Hijikata-san and help him and the others in any way she could. She was a member of the Shinsengumi, at least in her own mind and heart.  _And an Oni_ , a deep voice behind her seemed to say, although that was just her imagination.

One step, two, her balance shifting to the balls of her feet as she started to run - and then strong, elegant hands caught her upper arms and she was pulled back into a tight embrace, Kazama-san's arms wrapping themselves about her so that she was held fast to his chest. She could smell the faint dampness of his fine wool coat, and feel his warm breath against her hair from behind her. Chizuru made no effort to struggle, or resist.

"You don't have to go." The deep, now-familiar voice, was urgent in her ear. "Please… don't go."

Unthinkable that Kazama-san would speak such words, and Chizuru's heart contracted tightly in her chest. She felt the start of tears in her eyes and blinked them away. She had to find Hijikata-san before it was too late.

"Chizuru…" Kazama spoke again, still holding her in a grip that would be frightening except that the emotion in his voice was as plain as it was shocking to hear. "I don't want you to die."

When Chizuru still said nothing, forcing herself to remain still and silent with near-desperate determination, Kazama-san's arms slowly unlocked from around her, and she felt his hands slide slowly away. She couldn't see his expression but she was certain that he felt… hurt. Not anger, or contempt, or even frustration, but wounded. He had laid himself open, had asked - begged even - and she had still chosen to go, away from him, back to the Shinsengumi Vice Commander who had abandoned her.

Chizuru walked away several paces, unable to speak while standing so close to him. Then she stopped and turned and bowed again. She needed to go, but she couldn't bring herself to leave without giving something back to the proud Oni behind her.

"Kazama-san…" She had to clear her throat before she could continue. "I am going to find Hijikata-san, and do everything in my power to help him. I owe him that and more, I care about him deeply - as I have cared about each one of the Shinsengumi who cared for me and are now d-dead." She still couldn't manage that word without great effort. "If I can save just one of them…" Another pause and swallow. Kazama-san's eyes had narrowed now, not in irritation, but in concentration. "I will try my best to stay alive, Kazama-san. And if I am alive at the end of this, then I will come find you."

An expression of extreme surprise crossed the blond Oni's face.

"You - will come find me?" he repeated. "Even though you are rushing into battle to try to save a doomed man - a fury - that I have said that I will kill?" Kazama's steeply slanted eyebrows had risen high under his long bangs, but now they lowered again, forming a vee that rendered his expression not unlike many that Chizuru had seen on Hijikata-san's face.

"I will come to find you," Chizuru repeated. She could feel herself blushing, and tried to keep her voice steady. "Or you will find me. In either case" - she drew a quick breath - "I won't leave you again, if that is what you want."

"But - you aren't asking me to spare Hijikata's life?" demanded Kazama incredulously.

"I don't want you to kill him, and I will try to stop you from killing him, but that is… that is not the point. I am not trying to  _bargain_  with you, Kazama-san."

Kazama-san's sharp, handsome features were now quite unreadable. Chizuru felt her heart sink; had she made a complete fool of herself? The instinct to leave - in order to find Hijikata-san and in order to flee the man in front of her - caused her to turn sharply once again.

" _Chotto matte kudasai!_  Chizuru!"

Chizuru heard the command - the request - to wait, but she didn't stop. She kept running, letting her feelings guide her, hoping to find somebody who could direct her to Hijikata-san. Kazama-san could have caught up to her easily, but this time he didn't pull her back. He did call after her again, however:

"If it's not a bargain, then it's a promise, Chizuru! Remember that!"

And an Oni always keeps her promises. Chizuru knew what he was telling her. If she survived the battle, then whether or not she could save Hijikata-san, she would return to Kazama-san for good. Of course, Kazama-san's plan to kill the purple-eyed warrior posed something of a problem. But first, Chizuru had to save him from his fellow humans.

* * *

[END OF PART I]

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**A/Note:**  All kudos and especially reviews/comments are much appreciated! This is something of an experiment for me, so I'd like to hear your thoughts. Also, if you are a KazaChi fan, or would like to see more KazaChi fanworks,  **hakuoukishippingweek**  on  **tumblr**  is hosting  **KazaChi Week 2017**.


	2. Under the Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chizuru hurries to find Hijikata, dismayed to find the fighting already underway at Benten Fortress. The Shinsengumi emblem flies above the battle - but where is the Vice Commander, now Deputy Minister of War for the doomed Republic of Ezo?

**Author's Note:**

Welcome to chapter 2 of what is  _now_  going be a 3-chapter story. I am almost finished Part III, but I wanted to publish this chapter now just in case the final part takes me longer to wrap up than expected.

I realize that this middle piece does not appear to be clearly KazaChi, on its face, but it was necessary to my story and to the way that I perceived the key characters of Chizuru, Kazama and Hijikata. Please be assured that Part III is wholly KazaChi.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave kudos and reviews - I appreciate your encouragement. \\(^u^)/

I hope that you enjoy this chapter!

~ImpracticalOni

* * *

**Part II – Under the Trees**

* * *

Chizuru would later remember that run inland from the beach as a tangled series of confused images, etched on her mind along with the scents of gunpowder and blood, and the awful awareness of pain and fear all around her. Also, noise: the growling thunder of canons, the sharper staccato of the infernal Gatling guns—horrible machines designed specifically to mow down charging footsoldiers—and everywhere, audible even above the various engines of destruction, the screams of the injured and dying.

Moving faster than she ever had before—perhaps trying to keep up with Kazama-san for so long had improved her speed and endurance—Chizuru somehow avoided the enemy soldiers streaming toward the nearby coastal fortification and found herself on the outskirts of what was clearly going to be a pitched battle. She knew that she was in the wrong place, but wasn't certain what to do next. All of the intelligence that Kazama-san had gathered stated that General Hijikata, Vice Minister of War for the Republic of Ezo, was stationed at the massive star-shaped fortress of Goryōkaku in the town of Hakodate. The site of the current battle was Benten Fortress, according to what Chizuru could make out from the cacophony around her. From scraps of knowledge picked up during the sea voyage to Ezo, Chizuru knew that Benten was still several miles from Goryōkaku.

Chizuru slipped cautiously away from the main fighting. She needed to find a way around Benten in order to reach Goryōkaku and Hijikata. Just before heading into the sparse woodland that she hoped would conceal her from friend and enemy alike, she took a last look up at the heights of Benten, where she could just make out the battle standards of the Bakufu loyalists involved below. Her breath caught in her throat when her eyes suddenly recognized a crimson banner edged in white triangles hoisted triumphantly above the others, its emblem invisible due to distance but immediately known to her:  _makoto_ , representing sincerity. Chizuru blinked away tears and forced herself to walk away, leaving the Shinsengumi's "flag of truth" to watch over the battle and the men behind her.

Hijikata-san wasn't there. If he had been there, she would have seen him, she was sure of it. But the flag meant that some, or maybe most of the remaining Shinsengumi were defending the doomed fortress. It seemed wholly unlike Hijikata-san to not be there when his own were in trouble, regardless of his new rank and duties.

After several minutes of walking, choosing her path more by instinct than purpose, Chizuru found herself approaching what appeared to be a road. It surprised her that she had reached a point behind the outer defences of Benten—but presumably this was the road leading inland to the town of Hakodate and the fortress she was seeking. Just as she was trying to make up her mind whether or not to use the road, rapidly approaching hoofbeats and then the sounds of shouting and running men drove her deep into a leafy bush, glad for once of her small size. Even as the first rider came into view, unmistakeable even in his close-cut western uniform and missing his former trade-mark long black pony-tail, enemy soldiers came hurrying down the road from the opposite direction. The battle obviously wasn't going well at Benten.

"Minister Hijikata!" shouted one of the uniformed men galloping several lengths behind Hijikata, obviously desperate to catch up.

"Commander!" called another, his cry more like a scream.

Chizuru felt like screaming herself. Instead, she clamped both hands over her mouth to avoid drawing attention to her pitiful hiding place.  _Dear gods in heaven have mercy,_  she babbled frantically in her head.  _Don't let him die, don't let him die, don't let him die…_

At first, it appeared as though her prayers had been answered: lying flat against his horse's mane, Hijikata-san avoided the first, scattered volley from the small enemy unit—and apparently nobody had thought to aim for his horse in the first shock of suddenly encountering their enemy's deadliest warrior. A bright katana flashed briefly in the air, and two men fell to the ground, bloody and unmoving. Ignoring the crumpled bodies, Hijikata-san urged his horse back to a gallop, sending his remaining assailants scrambling out of his way.

Unfortunately, just as the former Vice Commander's reinforcements came thundering up, infantry running flat out behind racing horsemen, another knot of enemies stepped out of the woods, modern rifles held in readiness against their shoulders. It was impossible to know which of the shots fired hit Hijikata-san, catching him across his side and lower back as he rode to the aid of his comrades at Benten. Chizuru could only watch in horrified silence as blood sprayed from mortal injuries to the man she had travelled across northern Japan to save. His arms flew up and wide, his agonized face suddenly visible to Chizuru as he fell from his twisting, rearing horse. She knew that she would never forget the sound of his body hitting the hard-packed dirt, even though it should have been lost among the clamour around them.

It was as though time slowed down as he fell, and then sped up again in a rush, as if trying to catch up to itself. Chizuru found herself running forward, heedless of the danger, her only thought to make a last attempt to do what she needed—needed!—to do. Not surprisingly, one or two of Hijikata-san's men tried to approach her as she flung herself down at his side. She ignored them, and mercifully they went away, whether convinced by her actions that she intended no harm, or drawn irresistibly into the fighting that immediately broke out around Hijikata's still form.

Nothing touched Chizuru as she frantically tried to staunch the bleeding, hoping against hope that Hijikata-san's fury powers would once more save his life. Blood continued to well out from under her fingers, mocking her efforts and staining her clothes and the ground with the evidence of the horrific wounds that lay unseen under Hijikata-san's handsome coat and fine white shirt.

Two minutes passed, then five. The fighting drew away, as the former Bakufu soldiers, enraged by their commander's death, drove his murderers back toward Benten.  _Is there even such a thing as murder in war?_  Chizuru still fought the inevitable, fumbling in her rush to cut open Hijikata-san's vest and pull open his shirt so that she could try to stop the bleeding more directly. _Or is it all murder? Kazama-san would say so, although he has killed as many or more than most. Just humans though._  The last thought was heavy with bitterness.

Kazama-san had once cut down a Shinsengumi warrior for no other reason than to prove a point—and to protect the honour of men who were in the process of killing themselves. That death, which had taken place almost at Chizuru's feet, still made her angry.  _That was murder_.  _How can I love such a man? It's as though I catch glimpses of what he can be, and how he's changed, and I forget…_

"Chi-Chizuru?" Hijikata's incredulous whisper caught his former page off-guard, and she started.

"Oh thank the gods…"

"What—no… don't have time for that…" The long-loved purple eyes were clouded with pain, and his breathing was laboured, but the fact that he was conscious— _or alive_ —was a miracle in itself. "Need… to get… off the road. I…" Hijikata fainted again, and Chizuru felt a moment of complete despair. She couldn't carry him. At best, she could half-carry, half-drag him, and kill him in the process.

A cough made her remember her water flask, and she hastily gave Hijikata-san a sip of water. That seemed to help bring him around again (although what it could do for internal bleeding and possibly a damaged spine was a good question).

"Still have a bit of… the fury power left… I guess." Hijikata's voice was wry. They both knew that the power came at a severe cost to the remaining life of the user. "Haven't used it lately." His eyes, still narrowed in pain, but clearer, met Chizuru's and somehow conveyed humour in the face of devastation. "Knew you'd worry."

"Hijikata-san, you…" Chizuru wasn't sure what she wanted to say, and a familiar, frustrating sense of helplessness crept over her. But she wasn't the same person that she had been eight months ago. Kazama-san might be arrogant and just as  _challenging_  to deal with as Hijikata-san, but he had an unshakable belief in Chizuru's ability to do certain things and cope with more or less anything. After all (went his reasoning), she was an Oni of impeccable lineage—if she could only come to accept that, then she would handle everything much better. A pair of quizzical ruby eyes under silky blond hair flashed into Chizuru's mind and had to be banished with an effort.

"I can move now. Have to. You'll help—gods know you always do." In defiance of all expectation, the words held no irritation and were followed by a slight, but unmistakable smile.

"O-okay." She was suddenly flustered, recalling how often she had begged Hijikata-san for something useful to do. This was ridiculous. She was a grown woman, not the sixteen-year-old girl of over four years before.

" _Ikuzo_."

The word lacked its usual force, but it got Chizuru moving nonetheless. They made it well into the trees before Hijikata-san fainted again, nearly pulling Chizuru off her feet before she could balance his weight against a tree. When she couldn't bring him around, she decided that it was as good a time as any to better evaluate and bind up the injuries. She worked swiftly, and with far more competence than she'd had as a girl in Kōdō-san's clinic. It reminded her painfully of Yamazaki-san, who had taught her the skills that her foster father hadn't.

When she was done, she sat back on her heels, tired from her run that morning and from trying to carry and generally manage a muscular, full-grown man on her own. It crossed her mind that they both looked like furies after a particularly  _busy_  night out. The thought made her shiver. Although she couldn't accept Kazama-san's decision to kill Hijikata-san, she was otherwise very much in agreement with his view that the  _rasetsu_  were an abomination. Mind you, she stopped short of viewing them as no more than an insult to the Oni. Any implied insult was meaningless compared to the evil of twisting a man's mind, body and soul with the  _ochimizu_. She suspected that Kazama-san felt the same way now—mostly—but he could hardly say so at this point.

Thinking about the furies—and the problem of Kazama-san's plan to kill Hijikata-san, assuming that the man didn't simply die of his wounds within the next hour or two—made Chizuru return fully to the present. She had to face facts: Hijikata-san wasn't healing fast enough; the blood was still seeping steadily out of him, and instead of regaining consciousness, his breathing was becoming more laboured. She could only think of one alternative, a truly last resort, since neither the stubborn former Vice Commander nor the prickly Oni lord waiting to kill him would be happy with her for making the attempt.

_Well too damn bad for both of them_ , she told herself, borrowing from Hijikata-san's colourful vocabulary. She had always had the courage to do what was required to help those she cared about. She smiled with love at the dying man in front of her, and then with a different, newly precious love at the image of Kazama-san's face in her mind.  _Trust me_ , she begged the image silently.  _I will keep my promise._  Then she set about doing what needed to be done to feed blood to a deeply unconscious (and probably unwilling) recipient.

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**A/Note:**  All feedback is much appreciated! I'll see you in the next (and final) chapter.


	3. Looking Homeward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part III of II (which seems to be how my writing often goes). Chizuru leaves to find Kazama, hoping to keep her promise and to prevent him from killing Hijikata. Ultimately, Kazama's view of situations may surprise her.

**Author's Note:**

As promised, here is Part III of II of  _I Will Find You_ written for tumblr's KazaChi Week 2017 I hope that you enjoy my vision for Kazama and Chizuru and their future together.  I acknowledge that there is much more that could be explored.  [Wry smile.]

Yes, this part is twice as long as the others and, well, I had to stop at some point, right?

_~ImpracticalOni_

* * *

 

**Part III—Looking Homeward  
Prompt: Reunion**

* * *

Chizuru hurried away from the grove of cherry blossom trees. They were beautiful in the silvery light of the rising moon, appearing almost to shimmer as pale-pink petals drifted inexorably downward to lie in softly-scented swirls on the grass beneath.

She didn't know exactly where to go, of course, but she knew that Kazama-san would somehow know how to find  _her_. She wanted to reach him before he came across the dark figure who sat—alive— underneath the tallest of the flowering trees, his swords at his side. More than that, she wanted to show the proud Oni who had brought her here that she could keep her promise. She owed it to him, of course, but that wasn't what drove her onward through the trees.

A flicker of moonlight on blond hair brought her to an abrupt halt. He had allowed her to see him, she knew, and was grateful for the consideration. She gave him a deep bow.

"You found him, I see," Kazama remarked coolly as she straightened, and Chizuru winced. She was covered in blood from head to toe, although she had washed her hands and face as well as she could. Most of it was Hijikata-san's.

"Kazama-san—I"—she was forced to stop when arms like steel bars folded around her and crushed the breath from her. After a few moments, Kazama loosened his hold enough that she could breathe again, more or less. Unprepared for such a reception, when she had expected reserve, frustration, even anger, Chizuru found herself at a loss. "Kazama-san," she began again.

"Are you free of them now?" Kazama interrupted.

 _Did he mean "them" or "him"?_  Chizuru wondered silently. Was it the Shinsengumi as a whole or just one particular man? But her connection to Kazama-san—whatever it was that had made him decide to show her even a part of his heart—was too new and vulnerable to risk over an answer that was the same either way.

"They are important to me," Chizuru told him quietly. Although she was speaking more or less into his chest—and it seemed unlikely that he would let her see his face just yet—she was certain he could hear her. Hearing, sight, smell—the Oni had many physical advantages over "mere humans". "For better or for worse, the Shinsengumi are a part of who I am. But I have now done all that I can for them."

"Hnh." Kazama made a noise partway between annoyance and (possibly) reluctant understanding. He removed his arms from around Chizuru and folded them across his chest, his expression unreadable.

"I've gotten blood on your coat—I'm sorry," said Chizuru rather inanely. She felt cold without Kazama-san's embrace, although the evening was moderately warm, for Ezo. She was aware that it was the uncertainty that made her shiver, not the temperature.

Kazama ignored the inconsequential remark and continued to stand in front of her unmoving, his eyes narrowed. The deep red gleamed softly in the dark.

"Humans are foolish creatures," he said at last. "They fight and they kill—today's battle was only the first day of the final slaughter—and for what? Power and wealth and bits and pieces of land. They spend their lives— _waste_ their lives—in the pursuit of such things. After what you have seen today, how can you be in any doubt of their shallow pride and pitiful greed?"

It was the same old rhetoric, thought Chizuru. The same argument that they had been having for the past few months—years, even. She had come to know the steps of this dance very well. Kazama would criticize and she would get defensive and he would mock. It was time to stop.

"I am grieved by what I have seen today, Kazama-san," she admitted. She didn't try to conceal her anguish for the maimed and fallen. "It was worse than anything I have seen before. I hope to never see such a thing again."

His brows flew upward, as though her words had caught him off-guard. She waited for him to decide on a fitting reply to her acknowledgement of weakness, and braced herself for a lecture. Instead he uncrossed his arms and held out his hands, offering comfort. His features remained impassive, but the gesture was clear. Chizuru stepped forward and laid her head against the solid strength of his chest. She couldn't help a sigh of relief when his arms folded around her again, far more gently this time but just as—she searched for the right word—possessively.

"You  _did_  come to find me," Kazama acknowledged. "I assume that means you have chosen to move on."

"I told you that I would return to you, and stay with you… if that is still what you want," murmured Chizuru, suddenly overwhelmingly tired.

"You can be rather difficult, it's true." Chizuru stirred against him, but he continued inexorably. "And you make unsavoury… friends. Not to mention having a want of dignity that is unbecoming in—"

"A demon of my lineage," finished Chizuru, smiling slightly for the first time in days.

"He is alive, I presume. You are too stubborn to have allowed him to die."

The smile deserted Chizuru's face. She waited for Kazama-san to go on, knowing that this was one point on which he would not compromise. When he didn't speak, she sighed. "Hijikata-san is alive."

"He was badly wounded, though, it appears. Otherwise, you would have returned sooner and you would not be drenched in blood."

"Yes."

"His fury powers are failing him, aren't they? It is surprising that he has survived this long already. He's a fool for choosing to die for a lost cause, but somehow I don't see him hunting down innocents for blood."

"Yes. That is, you're right—about the blood." Chizuru felt tears sting her eyes—again—and again blinked them away. After all, Hijikata-san had said the same thing, more or less, once he had regained consciousness and discovered what she was doing.

He had been… annoyed… at the way in which she had saved his life. He wasn't going out of his way to die, he had told her acidly, but neither was he prepared to prolong his life by drinking the blood of "well-meaning but idiotic young women who never knew when to stop interfering." There had also been something about "not being some kind of fucking asshole who needs constant attention" and "how was the yellow-haired bastard anyway and why the hell had he brought Chizuru to a battlefield?" Chizuru sighed aloud, but remembering Hijikata-san's prosaic and utterly characteristic tirade—which had nearly provoked another fainting fit—helped her to force back the tears. As long as she didn't think about it too much.

"He was bleeding to death, wasn't he?" Without waiting for Chizuru's confirmation, Kazama swept on. "However, it would be unjust of me to believe that my own wife-to-be would be foolish enough to share her blood with a human. Especially when such a thing is considered a crime by the Oni."

Chizuru had been about to protest that she had lacked choices, but his final words stopped her cold. A crime? Despite a mind dulled by fatigue and heartache, she supposed it made sense: the concept was repugnant in itself, of course, but more than that, it was too reminiscent of the furies—perhaps even connected to them in some way.

"Chizuru… do you understand me?"

Chizuru pulled herself together and raised her head to meet the deep red eyes that seemed to blaze in the darkness above her. Kazama-san had always sounded so cold when speaking of anything connected to the furies but now his tone was intense rather than icy.

"Yes, Kazama-san. I understand."  _Don't give me the details and don't ever, ever do it again_ —that was what she heard in his voice and read in his eyes. She was grateful for his unexpected forbearance. Not that she'd had a choice, from her perspective, but she truly appreciated not having to deal with a second angry man that evening, especially when she could guess how disgusted he must feel. She had to wonder how they'd deal with the small detail about Hijikata-san being alive and a fury, though.

"You're exhausted. I hope that you'll be less prone to looking for trouble once we're married."

Chizuru fought the urge to giggle. It was very like him to express his concern so… aggressively.

"Yes, Kazama-san."

Her dutiful reply only caused the blond Oni to narrow his eyes at her suspiciously.

"We will leave tomorrow—tonight, if I can arrange it. There are still a small handful of craft being prepared by those who have waited until the last moment to flee. It means going northwest to Russia and then south again, but we'll manage."

There was a long silence. Kazama-san seemed to be deep in thought, although he continued to hold Chizuru close to him. There was something about his confidence in their still nebulous relationship that was reassuring. Chizuru finally forced herself to deliver the message that she'd promised—very unwillingly—to deliver.

"He said he'd be waiting for you." There was no need to say whom she meant.

Kazama scowled and looked back along the direction from which Chizuru had come. His next words surprised her so much that she found herself stumbling in her attempt to get a better look up at his face.

"Let him wait then."

"R-really?" Chizuru was stunned.

Kazama-san looked down at her no-doubt baffled expression and his lips twitched into a sardonic smile.  _Just like Hijikata-san's earlier_ , she thought irrepressibly, although she didn't say so.

"It would  _almost_  be worth it not to go just to make that man spend an uncomfortable night waiting for me to show up to slaughter him," he told her. "But of course, I could not go back on my word to eliminate the furies just for that. However, now that you have agreed—of your own free will  _and_  inclination—to marry me"—his eyes dared her to contradict him—"I cannot take the life that you have given him." He held her gaze, saw the doubt, and concluded with some impatience: "Regardless of  _how_  you managed the feat, that man owes you his life now. It would tarnish your honour if your husband were to kill him just a few hours later."

Strangely unnerved, Chizuru had to look away. She leaned her forehead against his chest and tried to allow the tension to drain from her tired body. "Thank you, Kazama-san."

"There is nothing to thank me for," Kazama snapped, although the way his hand rested on her hair gave the lie to his tone. "I am  _not_  pleased to be returning home without having done what I came for." He paused, and then added with (Chizuru felt) calculated smugness: "Although at least I finally got to hear you admit that you want to spend your life with me. Also"—the satisfaction in his voice became more pronounced—"I am quite sure that that man would prefer to die fighting me rather than have you save his life and then leave to marry me."

Chizuru winced. The thought had crossed her mind, but it sounded even worse when Kazama-san put it into words. His arms dropped from around her, but only so that he could take her face in his hands. He was looking at her seriously again.

"There are rarely perfect choices, Chizuru. However, I expect you to abide by your decisions—which includes letting go of your present guilt." He shook his head at her when she tried to protest, his hair almost white now that the moon had risen higher into the sky above them. "I did not say that you couldn't grieve. But there is  _nothing_  for you to feel guilty over. If you care for those men—for  _that_  man—as much as you say, then you must allow them to be responsible for their own actions."

Chizuru felt herself flinch at his words, and Kazama-san blew out a small puff of irritation, apparently reading her expression as easily as ever. Hijikata-san had told her almost exactly the same thing—though his tone and language had been somewhat rougher. On purpose, she thought, so that she would feel less pain at their parting. It hadn't worked.

"Well?" Kazama lowered his hands from her face to her shoulders. She tried not to look away.

"I will try not to feel guilty, Kazama-san." But she had left Hijikata-san alone and vulnerable under the cherry blossoms, healing but not yet strong enough to defend himself. Probably. Actually, it was difficult to say; she had once thought him invincible.

"I would prefer you to be thinking about me," Kazama said firmly.

For some reason, that brought her fully back to the present. Very tentatively, she placed her right hand over Kazama's. He registered mild surprise, but didn't move. The top of his hand was partially covered by his hand-guard, but his fingers were free, and she brushed her fingers along them with care, hoping that he would not disapprove. Chizuru admired his hands—they were strong but well-shaped and elegant, much like the rest of him. She felt a blush suffuse her cheeks, since she had perhaps seen  _more_  of him than was entirely proper. But there had been little she could do about that—they had lived together for some time in Sendai, while seeking passage to Ezo, and he preferred to wear a loose yukata indoors once they had eaten and taken up their evening pursuits. As meticulous as Kazama-san was with respect to his dress in public, he was entirely unabashed around Chizuru. Eventually, she had given up worrying about it and accepted him as he was. It had not been an entirely  _unpleasant_  arrangement, after all.

"Much better. I believe that I appreciate this particular expression very much."

The smugness was back, and Chizuru's flush deepened. She allowed her hand to fall sharply from Kazama's and tried to glare up at him. It wasn't entirely successful, as the image of him sitting on the windowsill of his room, one leg bent and bared to mid-thigh, persisted in her traitorous mind.

"I believe you were saying that we should leave immediately, Kazama-san," she said, as coolly as she was able.

"True," he acknowledged. "However, that was before you looked up at me in such a way." With superb grace, but too quickly to be avoided, he drew Chizuru against him once more, one hand cradling the back of her head and pulling her up into a warm—a very warm—kiss on the lips.

It went on for some time, as though Kazama-san had been waiting for just this moment and intended to take full advantage of it. Of course, he probably had, and did, thought Chizuru muzzily. It didn't matter. Nobody had ever kissed her before—although Heisuke-kun had tried once, in a fit of drunken gallantry that he had forgotten by the next day (or was too mortified to mention). But  _this_! She had wondered what it might be like, had had her daydreams about this moment, and her imagination had not done it justice. She felt warmth spread along each limb, and an odd tightening in her lower gut that both embarrassed and intrigued her.

The kiss ended eventually, but only when Kazama-san drew away to allow her to catch her breath. Chizuru drew air into her lungs and reluctantly opened her eyes (although she didn't remember closing them). She waited for Kazama-san to speak first, since she was still sorting out so many feelings and impressions.

"I had hoped… how it might be."

Chizuru stared up at him without real comprehension. She had expected more self-satisfaction and less wonder.

"Kazama-san?"

The unusually soft expression immediately became something more remote, and Chizuru realized belatedly that he had been almost as caught up in sensation as she had been. She waited for him to reassert his superiority, but the expected slighting words didn't come.

"As much as you have fought it, disbelieved it and refused to come to terms with it, you can sense the kinship between us, Yukimura Chizuru, my wife-to-be. You are drawn to me, as I am to you."

Chizuru tested the words and found them to be true, despite the rather exasperating, lecturing tone he affected. For the sake of peace—and newfound pleasure—she didn't ask the obvious questions: if it had always been so clear-cut, then why had she been so drawn to Hijikata-san, almost from the moment that they had met? Why had she been so drawn to the Shinsengumi captains as a whole? There was no doubt in her mind that they had all been special to her, and somehow she had become important to them.

"I can't answer those questions," Kazama said abruptly, once again reading her thoughts from her face (although she was beginning to wonder if he could read her mind instead). "Perhaps there really was more to those"—Chizuru had to smile as she watched him bite off his usual epithets—"those  _stubborn_ ,  _misguided_  humans than I thought." Reality finally returned, when he added. "Though it seems unlikely."

Internally, Chizuru sighed. She had no desire to continue their pointless debate about the Shinsengumi; Kazama-san had come all the way to Ezo for them, and that was enough to tell her that his own feelings were more complex than he admitted. More than anything, though, she wanted to kiss and touch the man she had chosen, and reaffirm that they were both alive and together and planning to stay that way.

"I am ready to go whenever you wish, Kazama-san." The words came out laden with fatigue and more frustration than she had intended.

"Chizuru…" For a moment it seemed that he hovered on the brink of an apology—or maybe anger, it was hard for her to tell—before compromising with: "I should have made more allowance for your fatigue, and the difficult day behind you."

Chizuru felt the tension start to seep out of her again. Those words would have been unthinkable for him even just a few weeks ago; this was his effort to be more considerate, and was far more than she'd hoped for when she'd begun to realize the change in her own heart. Also, maybe she needed to make more allowance for Kazama-san as well: she had left him that morning to seek out her first love, and he had known it and hadn't stopped her.

She felt the blood rise again in her cheeks as she raised her hands to Kazama-san's face, brushing her fingers along his lower jaw. She could only assume that he would understand, and not reject her gesture as overly-familiar or somehow inappropriate. Although she never determined exactly how he interpreted her action—whether as tacit apology, or an olive branch, or simply a demonstration of affection—she was left in no doubt as to how he felt about it. His eyes widened in surprise, but he barely hesitated before bringing his lips down again to hers.

This time Chizuru felt his tongue part her lips and explore her mouth, and it shocked her a little, to think that a person as innately fastidious as Kazama-san would do such a thing. That passed almost immediately, as sensation finally overrode clear thought. Her knees buckled—for whatever reason, although she doubted fatigue was uppermost—and she could hear nothing but the pounding of her own blood in her ears. She wasn't sure how it was possible, but she felt both keyed up and totally relaxed. It was as though the horrors of the morning, and the fears and frustrations of the afternoon and evening, were at least partly assuaged by sincere, intoxicating physical affection.

This time they parted by mutual accord, although Kazama kept an arm draped around her shoulders, his fingers tracing slow circles along the her neck and the base of her skull. Chizuru could feel slight tremors along her skin at so intimate a touch, and became conscious that she was humming slightly in the back of her throat. She immediately stopped, but it took an effort.

"It would be… unfortunate to be found here like this," Kazama commented, his beautiful, dark voice somehow echoing Chizuru's earlier humming and increasing her desire to return to what they had been doing, regardless of the two armies still out there in the darkness beyond them. "Especially by the person that you don't want me to kill. I must—reluctantly—give him enough credit to come looking for me if I don't turn up soon."

"Or maybe he will just accept your decision and stay where he is," murmured Chizuru. "I just hope that—" She caught herself and stopped. This was the wrong moment to be speaking of Hijikata-san.

Kazama shrugged, his movements as elegant as ever, although Chizuru thought that his rather pale skin still looked unusually flushed, and his eyes were bright gold rather than deep ruby. She wondered if he knew.

"If you are worried that he is going to wander off and get himself killed," said Kazama, his voice even deeper than usual, but not angry, "then you are—as usual—worrying needlessly. Either he is well enough not to be taken off-guard, in which case he will kill anyone foolish enough to challenge him—with one obvious exception, of course—or he is still unable to move, in which case he won't." He paused long enough to bend down to draw his tongue across one of Chizuru's ears, which startled her but left her heart racing. He then continued his analysis, as though nothing had happened.

"It is highly unlikely that he will be found tonight if he stays where he is, which I assume is your other concern. For one thing, we have heard no patrols in this area. For another, I can assure you that our present location is as far from either army as they would be willing to risk their men. Thirdly, you underestimate the instincts of our people, to which you are—finally—starting to pay attention. You wished to hide him from his enemies; therefore, he is likely in a safe location."

"But—" protested Chizuru feebly, still more than half-entranced by the fingers on her skin.

"Yes, but I am an Oni as well, and much better trained. You could not hide him from  _me_ , although I note that it took me some time to find you. Of course, I made sure to spend quite some time finding out about possible ways off this gods-forsaken island first."

"Oh," said Chizuru, silenced.

"As I said, though, it would be better not to be found here. I will take you to a place in Hakodate that I have borrowed from its absent occupants for our use. Then—"

"You've already been to Hakodate and back?"

"You still have a lot to learn about the ways in which we can travel. Stop interrupting."

"Yes, Kazama-san."

"We will go into Hakodate, and you will wait  _patiently_  for me while I either locate—or fail to locate—a boat to take use from here. If I am successful, then I expect that we will leave before first light. If not, we will try again the next day. If worse comes to worst, then I will arrange for us to leave when the last of the French officers are forced to abandon Ezo before Goryōkaku falls to the Imperial Army. I hope to avoid the last measure, however."

"I-I see, Kazama-san."

He smiled down at her—a genuine, if slightly predatory smile—and Chizuru saw points on the edges of his canines.  _The Oni is very close to the surface_ , she thought. Her shiver had little to do with fear, however.

"I hope that we can unearth some decent  _sake_  somewhere on this ridiculous rock of an island. We'll see."

Without warning, or further words, Kazama lifted Chizuru into his arms and started walking at a brisk pace away from where Hijikata-san still kept his lonely vigil under the cherry blossoms. Chizuru sent the Shinsengumi commander a mental farewell. He would most likely return to the fighting the next day, but he might not. It had seemed to her that—with the exception of dealing with Kazama-san—he was ready to lay aside his swords and take a more peaceful path, for however long he had left. She sighed and leaned her head against Kazama-san's shoulder. She had done what she could for the Shinsengumi. It was time to look toward the future.

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**[END]**

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**A/Note:** As always, comments and reviews are very much appreciated (and kudos as well!). **Thank you for reading my first KazaChi fic.**

_~ ImpracticalOni_


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